Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
by tova77f
Summary: Garret fic. FINISHED...Garret takes an interest in the new M.E., who hides behind the wall she's built around her for years. Once the cracks form...the secret she carries begins to emerge.
1. New Start?

_This is my first Crossing Jordan fic...I've pretty much been a lurker in this forum, reading and reviewing when I can. I've been working on this for a little while now. Please review, but don't flame me if you don't like it...that doesn't help me very much. Currently this is a PG-13 story, but the rating might change due to the subject matter that will be revealed in future chapters. Hope you all enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Crossing Jordan or any of the characters, but I do own the one that I created for this story..._

* * *

She stood outside, leaning against the wall of the Pogue. A light breeze blew strands of her shoulder length blonde hair into her face. She brushed them behind her ear and sighed deeply…the last few months had been hectic to say the least for Dr. Jennifer Brooks. Leaning her head back until she felt it touch the wall, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander. 

In late spring, she decided she wanted a location change from her Medical Examiner's job in Florida. Her boss thought she was crazy, but also noticed that she hadn't been happy as of late. After doing some digging, he was able to get in touch with a friend of his, Garret Macy. Three weeks later she was on a plane to Boston for an interview with Dr. Macy. A week after that she received a phone call from him letting her know that the Medical Examiner's position was hers. She happily accepted and he in return gave her ample time to take care of things in Florida, along with getting herself settled in Boston. By August, she was settled and starting her new job.

The past few weeks had been grueling…both mentally and physically. Jen, as she preferred everyone calling her, and Jordan had been thrust into a high profile murder case that had just recently wrapped up. Now, it was the beginning of the Labor Day weekend and Garret had insisted they all get together at the Pogue to unwind after work. She had tried to get out of going, but couldn't produce a good enough excuse. The voices from inside grew louder as the door opened and it stirred her from her thoughts.

"Nigel told me I could find you out here. Bored with us already?"

She turned her head slightly, her blue eyes met Garret's brown ones. "I just needed a breath of fresh air."

Garret looked at her somewhat concerned. "You ok?"

"Yeah."

"Sure…you've been quiet for most of the night."

Jen laughed slightly and brought her hand up to brush the hair out of her face. She turned back again to look at him. "I'm fine…really!" She tried to sound more convincing noting the concern on his face."Just tired that's all…it's been a long couple of weeks and then…well…between the move…" Jen let her voice trail off.

Garret smiled and put his arm around her shoulder, feeling her tense at his touch. "Well, how about we go back in and have a drink…enjoy what's left of the evening."

"Sure...why not."

For the next hour, Jen and Garret carried on some small talk. However, he noticed that she managed to sidestep questions concerning her past…opting to talk about him, Boston, or the rest of the staff. As the night slowly started to wind down, the group began to break apart and leave.

"Well…I really should be going." Grabbing her purse she began to get up.

"How about I walk you to your car?"

Jen turned to look at Garret. "Actually, I took a cab."

"Then…how about I drive you home."

Jen smiled, "that's not necessary…I can get a cab."

"It might take awhile for a cab to arrive and I'd hate for you to have to wait for it alone."

Jen shook her head and gave him a small smile, "ok…you win…lead the way."

Garret could see that she seemed a bit uncomfortable at the idea, but he shrugged it off. They headed by the bar, said goodnight to Jordan, and made their way out.

* * *

The months passed and Jen settled in well with the rest of the staff. By all accounts everyone liked her and she was a great asset to the team. She worked hard…just as hard as Jordan and the two seemed to hit it off pretty well. She was also the polar opposite of Jordan, who at times let her emotions get in the way of a case, Jen didn't. On a few occasions he noticed that when dealing with a victim's family she could be abrupt and lacked some compassion. When he called her on it one day, she just brushed it off, saying that it was hard for her to comfort people. Nothing more was said after that and he usually opted to speak with the victim's families instead of her. 

Garret, however, found her to be a mysterious woman. Sometimes he chastised himself for looking at her longer than he should…considering how his relationships had faired between Lily, Maggie, and then Renee. But, there was something about Jen that intrigued him…she was quiet and shy, never spoke of her personal life, and of course was easy on the eyes.

One morning he stood staring through the glass into the breakroom when Jordan appeared.

"Find something you like?" Her lips curled slightly and she gave him a mischievous look.

He turned to look at her with an annoyed expression. "What are you talking about Jordan?"

"Looks to me like you have a thing for the new M.E."

"Where do you get ideas like that?" He turned and walked away, but heard her footsteps not far behind.

"Don't tell me you aren't a little bit interested. I've seen the way you look at her."

Garret stopped abruptly, grabbed Jordan's arm and pulled her into his office. "Okay…maybe I am slightly interested, but that's really none of your business."

Jordan rolled her eyes. "You're starting to sound like her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We've gone to lunch a few times and it was like pulling teeth to find anything out about her. I know her mother and brother still live in Ohio, but that's it. I could tell she was hesitant to give up certain bits of information…as if she was contemplating how to answer my questions. I get the feeling she's hiding something…"

Before Jordan could say anything further Lily interrupted. "Hey guys…sorry to just barge in, but there's been a shooting about five blocks from here. The police need a couple of M.E.'s down there now."

"Thanks Lily." With that, Jordan and Garret collected their things and left.


	2. The Cracks Begin To Form

Several weeks went by and Garret occasionally thought about what Jordan had told him that day in his office. He and Jen worked on a few cases together and she was always the professional. There were those moments she let her guard down, but just as quickly would put it back up again. Those were the rare times he got to see who she really was and that intrigued him even more.

Late one evening Garret walked through the hall carrying several containers of Chines food. He and Jen were working on a case and decided best to get some dinner and continue working.

"Food's here." Placing the containers on the table he could see out of the corner of his eye Jen walking over.

"Great…I'm starving."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room while they ate. Garret watched as she picked at her rice and chicken.

"I haven't had the opportunity to ask you yet, but how are you enjoying Boston? It's definitely not the same as Florida."

"No…no, it definitely isn't, but I don't mind. Some people may not get bored with the beaches or warm temperatures, but a part of me missed the cold winters." She gave him a smile, but her eyes didn't meet his.

"You grew up in Ohio…didn't you? If I remember from your resume."

Jen nodded slightly, shifting in her seat. "Some winters were worse than others, but I enjoyed the snow at Christmas…made it feel more like the holiday…that is when it did decide to snow."

"If that's the case…then why live in Florida?" Garret watched as she grew increasingly uncomfortable.

"I…well…just wanted a change…that's all." She quickly took a bite of her chicken, keeping her gaze away from his.

Garret decided to stop grilling her…he could sense her uneasiness, but still had no clue as to why. They finished the rest of their dinner in silence and then promptly went back to work. After about an hour, both were clearly showing signs that they had enough.

Rubbing his hand over his face, Garret leaned back in the chair. "I don't know about you, but I think I've had it for the night. We can pick this up tomorrow after we've had a goodnight's sleep."

Jen tried to stifle a yawn, but couldn't. She laughed slightly. "Sounds like a plan." Gathering her files, she made her way to the door when he stopped her.

"If you want to unwind for a bit before going home…there's a great jazz club about a block from here…that is if your into that." He watched her contemplate what to say. Getting up, he closed the gap between them. "I promise not to pry into your personal life. We can go and just relax."

"Alright…let me put these in my office and grab my coat." As she started to walk away, she stopped, but didn't turn to look at him. "And by the way…I happen to love jazz." She then continued on to her office.

As much as Jen hated to admit to herself…a night out like this was definitely something she needed. Although she had been in Boston for almost five months, she rarely took the time to explore the city. She had gone to the museum a few times, maybe to a local restaurant to pick-up food, but that was it.

While they sat at the table, Garret made sure not to question her. He just watched as she seemed to relax…laughing occasionally even. Leaning in, he startled her.

"Care to dance?" Without even waiting for an answer, he took hold of her hand and walked her to the dance floor. It took her several minutes to relax, but eventually he was able to pull her a little closer. They danced in comfortable silence through two songs before Jen pulled away.

"How about we call it a night? I'm about to fall asleep standing up." She smiled as Garret laughed at her.

Getting their things, they headed out of the club and to their cars.

"Thank you for tonight Garret…it was good to relax for a change." She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it. Maybe it was the lack of friendship she had in her life…maybe it was the closeness of the morgue staff wearing off on her. "Would you like to do this again sometime? Some dinner perhaps…a movie even." She bit her lower lip, unsure if she had done the right thing.

Garret was somewhat surprised by her question, but inwardly smiled. "Sure."

Jen smiled in relief. "Great…well…I'll see you tomorrow then." With that, she got in her car and drove away.

* * *

Over the next month, Jen and Garret spent a few evenings a week together. He slowly got to see a different side of her…rumors had begun to circulate around the morgue that people were calling her the 'Ice Queen.' To him, she slowly let her guard down, but never completely. She laughed and smiled a little more, but he also found the random acts of touching bothered her. In the beginning he dismissed it, but lately it made him wonder if something had happened to her to cause this. As far as he knew though, it was never mentioned in her psyche evaluation.

As Christmas approached, Garret asked if she wanted to go the party that Jordan and Lily were planning. After some reassurance from him that she would have fun, Jen finally agreed to go.

The night of the party arrived and Jen was putting on the finishing touches when Garret stopped by to pick her up. She made her way to the door and let him in. He was almost speechless at the sight of her.

"Wow…you look amazing." He watched as the comment made her blush.

Jen had to admit…she did look great. She had decided on a long, velvet green spaghetti strapped dress that fit nicely against her body. Her hair was in loose curls that fell to her shoulders.

"Thanks…just let me grab my coat and we can go."

For the night, the Pogue was closed to only the staff of the morgue. Lights dangled from the ceiling…Christmas music was blaring…by all accounts everyone was having a good time. Even Jen was enjoying herself. She had danced with Nigel and Bug, who several times both tried to get her under the mistletoe, but failed miserably. Eventually she was able to take a break and found a spot away from the crowd. After awhile she made eye contact with Garret who headed in her direction. Grabbing a chair, he sat next to her.

"Having fun?"

"Yeah…Jordan and Lily sure know how to throw a party. I just wanted to take a break for a little bit."

"Have enough energy for a dance later?"

"Of course…just keep me away from anything dealing with Nigel, Bug, or mistletoe and you've got a deal." They both laughed.

"Did I hear my name?" Garret and Jen looked over to see Nigel smiling mischievously at them. Pointing to above their heads, they looked up to find he was holding some mistletoe. "You know the drill guys…kiss." Both looked to see people staring at them.

Garret turned to Jen. "Looks as though we don't have a choice and I hate to go against tradition."

Jen didn't say a word as she felt Garret's lips brush against hers. They were warm and inviting so she deepened the kiss until she started hearing the cheers and then pulled back…embarrassed. "Um…excuse me…I…I'll be right back." Jen quickly got up and made her way through the crowd towards the bathroom. Once inside she leaned against the wall. That kiss…even if it was a traditional kiss…there was something there…she saw it when she looked at Garret. A part of that scared her. After a few minutes she composed herself and headed back out. She found Garret talking to Nigel…probably chewing him out for embarrassing her.

"Hey…I think I'm going to call a cab and go home. I had a great time, but I really should go." She made her way up to the phone by the bar and started to dial the number when the receiver was abruptly pulled out of her hand. Turning around she found Garret hanging it up.

"Garret…what do you think your doing?"

"You don't need to call a cab. I can take you home if you're ready to leave."

"Just because you brought me here doesn't mean you have to feel an obligation to take me home. It's not like we're on a date!" Her eyes widened…as soon as the words spilled from her lips she instantly regretted them.

"Fine…call the damn cab." Jen heard the anger in Garret's voice and watched as he walked off, moving his way through the crowd and out the door.

Cursing herself she made her way through the crowd as well and once outside spotted Garret only a few feet away. Without her coat the cold air sent chills through her body.

"Garret…Garret…look at me." She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. As soon as he did she quickly let go and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep warm.

His face softened when he looked at her. "You shouldn't be out here…you're going to freeze to death." He quickly pulled off his sports jacket and wrapped it around her.

"I'm sorry about what I said in there. I've been independent for far too long…I let that get the better of me sometimes." Her teeth slightly chattered as she wrapped the coat tighter.

"Come on…let's go back inside. Its much warmer in there than out here."

"I think I would just rather go home…if that's ok?"

Garret sighed, somewhat disappointed. "Sure…let's get our things and we can leave."

When they arrived at her apartment, Garret walked Jen to her door. As she was about to head in, she turned around, "would…would you like to come in?" Garret nodded and followed her in.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to go change. As much as I know you and everyone else enjoyed this dress, I can't wait to get out of it." She disappeared into the bedroom and Garret took off his jacket, placing it on a nearby chair. He then took the time to look around. Her living room was furnished with some tables, a couch and chair, and a television. She had a few plants…it appeared she took better care of them than Jordan did hers. He smiled at that. Her shelves were adorned with an assortment of medical books. She had the necessities to get by with and nothing more. However…he couldn't find a single photograph of her family. On a table near the window, she had a small, decorated Christmas tree, but it was the only thing in the whole apartment…he couldn't even see a Christmas card or other decorations.

"Care for some coffee?" Jen had startled him from his thoughts. She had changed into an oversized shirt and sweatpants. Garret followed her into the kitchen.

"Coffee will be ready in a sec." She gave him a nervous smile.

"Sounds good." Garret took a seat on the barstool at the counter. Awkwardness between the two filled the room. His mind wandered a bit while he watched her. During the last month, his feelings for her began to change. He thought maybe he was falling for her, but given the way things went tonight, he believed now she didn't feel the same.

The beep from the coffeemaker brought him out of his thoughts and he noticed Jen quickly grab a couple of cups and pour the coffee. She took a seat next to him at the counter and handed him his cup.

Finally Garret couldn't stand the silence between them any longer. "Wanna tell me why you invited me in?"

Resting her arms on the counter, she grasped her cup and looked into it, as if trying to find an answer. "I don't know…maybe as a peace offering of sorts after what happened tonight at the party. I hope you weren't too hard on Nigel."

"Don't worry about it…Nigel was more worried that he had done something wrong." He took a sip from his cup then looked at her. "Why did you run off like that anyway?"

Jen contemplated her answer…then resting her chin on her hand looked at him. "Honestly…the kiss scared me." Garret's eyes raised in surprise and Jen sadly smiled.

"I know…how can a kiss scare someone? It was more than a kiss between friends…I know you felt it…I saw it in your eyes when I pulled away. It's the closeness that scares me the most." She shook her head in frustration. "This is not making any sense is it?" She slid off the stool and walked over to the sink. "I wish I could make you understand."

Garret walked over and turned her around to face him. He placed his fingers under her chin and slowly closed the gap between them.

"Garret…what are you doing." She swallowed hard and then panicked as Garret began to close the gap between them. "Please…please don't do that." She pushed him away and looked at him with tears were sliding down her face.

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into. Why would you want to become involved with someone that everyone calls the _Ice Queen_." She saw the shock play out on his face. "Didn't think I knew did you? I realize that I keep my feelings in check…that I keep everyone so far away, but I have my reasons…unfortunately everyone wants to form their own opinions about me."

Jen walked out of the kitchen and into the other room. Taking a seat on the couch, she pulled her legs up to her chest. Garret followed a few seconds later, sitting beside her, but keeping some distance.

"I'm a complicated person. It's been a long time since I've let anyone get this close." It was true…she hadn't maintained a lengthy relationship with any man because she was afraid of the intimacy. As soon as they started showing any interest she pushed them away.

Garret reached his hand up and brushed a strand of her hair back that had fallen. "Let me get to know you then. The real you…not the person that's hidden behind this wall you've built around yourself."

Jen's eyes misted over…could she afford to take that chance? There was something about Garret…he didn't take a hint easily…he had somehow gotten under her skin. "I don't want you to regret your decision."

He looked at her puzzled. "Why?"

"Because…once you find out…the real reason…I don't want you to be repulsed. I don't want to get so emotionally involved, only to have you turn your back on me."

Garret slid closer to her on the couch. "I'm telling you right now that I will never do that." He pulled her into him and kissed the top of her head. "When you are ready to talk about your past I'm here…ok?"

Jen nodded against him. For the first time she felt safe as Garret held her. The chiming of the clock startled them both.

"I should go…its getting late." Jen nodded and walked with him to the door. As she opened it, Garret turned to her and softly kissed her cheek. "Goodnight." Jen shut the door as he left, her mind swirling from the events of the evening.


	3. Present and Past

The holidays came and went. After that night at Jen's apartment, Garret let her set the pace. Honestly there wasn't much of a pace to set. He couldn't even call what was going on between the two of them a relationship. It seemed that whatever progress was made before that night had now taken two steps back. He noticed how uncomfortable she was around him and would decline any invitation to have dinner with him.

Slowly after some time, things went back to a comfortable routine. They would have dinner, maybe go to a movie or a jazz club…she let her guard down again and he could see it. Although at times when he looked in her eyes he could see a sadness that puzzled him.

Jen never said a word, but she began to find her feelings for Garret changing. Her heart would skip a beat when he walked into a room…her cheeks would grow red if he brushed past her. She knew…she knew she was falling in love…at least that's what she thought it was…never having really experienced it before. As much as her past was in Ohio, it still had a hold over her to this day and so she made sure to keep those feelings she had for Garret buried deep.

What she didn't realize was that the present and the past were about to collide forcing the upper hand.

* * *

The day started out slow and didn't show any signs of picking up. Jen roamed the halls towards Autopsy 1 where she knew Jordan and Nigel were working. Never one to wish for a death, she secretly did right now…something interesting to make the day go faster. Even though it was almost noon, she thought it took an eternity to even get to that point.

Opening the doors to Autopsy 1 she saw the pair deep in discussion.

"Hey guys…need an extra pair of hands." She moved closer to the table and noticed the body of a young girl…maybe just under 13.

"Hello luv!" Nigel gave her his trademark smile. "I don't know about Jordan, but I can always use an extra pair of hands."

Jen blushed and then turned to look at Jordan. "What have you got?"

Jordan pointed to the bruising on the young girl's neck. "Sarah Miller…13 years old…found in an alley two blocks from her home. She was choked to death, but unfortunately that's not the worst of it. There are large amounts of bruising all over her body and it looks as though shortly before she died she was engaged in sexual activity…quite possibly she was raped."

Jen's eyes shot up to look at Jordan and then back down at the young girl. She didn't even hear what else Jordan had to say. Staring at the body, images flooded her mind and she heard a loud ringing in her ears. A hand touched her arm…causing her to jump back and let out a small scream.

"Hey luv…you ok?"

Jen swallowed hard and looked back and forth between the two. "I…uh…I just remembered that I have something to take care of." Her eyes darted back down to the body. "I…I need to go." Stumbling out of the autopsy room, she made her way to the door leading up to the roof and disappeared.

A half-hour later Nigel found her still there…staring out over the city of Boston.

"I've been looking for you everywhere luv…wanna tell me what's wrong?" He looked at her face and could see she had been crying.

"There's nothing to talk about." She kept her gaze straight ahead.

"Come on luv…something upset you…"

"Nigel…please…just drop it." This time she turned to face him…her blue eyes pleading with him. She knew he meant well…this was something however he couldn't help with.

"Alright, if that's what you want." He took her hand into his and gave it a tight squeeze. "But…if you need to talk…I'm here."

Jen gave him a smile and watched as he turned back towards the door. A few minutes later she returned to her office and was thankful when a call came in on a homicide. Not thankful however that it meant someone was dead…thankful instead that she could get out of the morgue and her mind on something else.

Hours later she returned to the morgue. Emotionally tired…all she wanted to do was gather her things and go home. Walking in her office, she didn't realize anyone was there until they spoke.

"I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to track you down myself."

"God!" She jumped at the voice and stared in the direction from which it came.

"No…Howard or Dr. Stiles will do." He smiled and leaned back in the couch.

"What brings you by?" She licked her lips nervously and took in a deep breath…she had a feeling she already knew the answer.

"Well…I heard you ran out of an autopsy this morning…" He watched as she thumbed through some papers…clearly trying to avoid him.

"Word travels fast around here, besides it wasn't my autopsy…things were slow and I went to see if Jordan needed help."

He eyed her curiously, "but you left upset…appears to me you still are."

"It _appears_ to me that some people need to mind their own business." She hadn't meant for it to come out the way it did, but she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone…especially with the resident shrink.

Stiles got up from the couch and moved closer…only the desk separated them now. "I'm only here if you want to talk. Whether you realize it or not, people around here care about you."

The last part of what he said made her stop what she was doing. She felt her eyes begin to mist over and quickly blinked it away. "There is nothing to talk about." Her eyes met his.

Placing his hands on the desk, he leaned in. "What was it about that autopsy Jen? Why are you so upset about?"

Jen slammed the folder she had been holding down on the desk, startling them both. Her eyes misted over. "I can't…I can't talk about this now." She turned away and looked out the window.

"Ok…when is your next day off?"

She whirled around to look at him. "Excuse me?"

"If you can't talk now…then when is your next day off?"

"Tomorrow…" she took in a deep breathe, "…my day off is tomorrow."

"Good!" Stiles made his way to the door. "I'll expect to see you tomorrow in my office at 10:00 a.m." With that he left her alone…not even giving her a chance to protest.


	4. Heal Thy Self

_Thanks for the reviews so far. On the advice of **garrettelliot** I will slow down a bit and allow the drama to unfold more. Hope everyone enjoys and keep telling me what you think:)_

* * *

Jen sat in the small room waiting for Dr. Stiles to call her in his office. She was exhausted…only having gotten a few hours of sleep. After leaving the morgue yesterday, she walked for hours…nowhere in particular really, just trying to clear her head. Her cellphone rang a few times, but she didn't bother answering. Later when she checked her messages she found they were from Garret. Having been in court all afternoon for a case, he had got wind of what happened earlier that day and wanted to see how she was doing. In the end she never returned his calls.

Hearing the door to Stiles' office open, she turned to see him walk out. "Good morning Jen…ready?"

She took a deep breath and walked inside. For the next hour, they talked about her childhood, mostly little things at first. He wanted her to feel comfortable talking with him. By the end of the session she was able to open up a little bit about what happened to her and it took several more sessions before the full story finally came out.

After that, Jen met with Stiles every other day for the next three weeks. After the first meeting he prescribed her with sleeping pills since she had mentioned her trouble lately with nightmares and insomnia. Now, due to a week-long conference he was required to attend, she wouldn't able to schedule another appointment until he came back. A part of this worried her…afraid she might have a setback in the progress they were making. He assured her that she would be fine and if she needed anything, all she had to do was call.

* * *

The week passed by quickly and Friday afternoon Stiles stopped by to see how she was doing. Surprising to her, she only called him twice while he was gone and that was only early in the week.

"You look good…how do you feel?"

"I'm fine…been sleeping better at night and…"

They were interrupted when Garret walked in. "Jen…" She watched as he paused in the doorway and then look at who she was talking to. "I didn't realize you were in the middle of something…I'll come back later."

"No…you're not interrupting. We're just talking. Was there something you needed?" She kept her gaze on him. Neither had talked much to the other the last few weeks and she knew it was partly her fault.

Uncomfortable, Garret walked back in. "I just came by to see if you had the file on the Lindsey case."

"It's right here." She quickly grabbed it and walked over to him. Jen felt Garret's hand brush against hers as he took the file. Looking at him, she watched as he looked past her and towards Stiles.

"Howard…good to see you." Without another word he left.

During the whole time, Stiles observed the awkward interaction between the two. A few times when they talked she mentioned Garret, but she always said they were friends. He got the impression that there was more to it and this seemed to confirm it, unfortunately he never got a chance to bring it up.

* * *

Garret was pacing his office trying to figure out what to do. The morgue had a total of five new bodies awaiting autopsy…Jordan was on call for a homicide…Bug and Nigel were trying to fill in where needed. To make matters worse, he didn't have a clue where Jen was. She was more than an hour late with not even a phone call from her. He couldn't understand how one small kiss could change things the way that had.

He was jolted from his thoughts when the phone rang.

"Macy!" He snapped.

"_Garret…its Jen."_

"Jen…where the hell are you?"

"_I'm…I'm at the airport."_

"What do you mean your at the airport…I don't remember authorizing a vacation. We have five new bodies that came in last night…your needed here."

"_Garret…give me a chance to explain. I'm at the airport because I'm catching the next flight out to Ohio…I have to go home for a few days."_

He could hear a change in her tone causing him to worry. "What's wrong?"

"_My mother…she…passed away last night. I have to go home for a few days and take care of things."_

Taking in a deep breath, Garret felt like kicking himself for snapping at her initially. "Jen…I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do…"

"_No…look…my flight is boarding. I'll see you in a few days."_

Before he could say anymore the line went dead.


	5. A Trip to Ohio

When a few days turned into four Garret became worried. He tried to call Jen several times, but only got her voicemail. She didn't return his calls and that made him worry even more. When she finally did call him back, she only said things were taking longer than expected and that she probably wouldn't be back until sometime the following week.

Late one evening Garret sat alone in his office…soft jazz played in the background while he nursed his scotch.

"I didn't realize I was the only one here."

Garret looked over and saw Jordan standing in the doorway. Smiling he motioned for her to come in. "What are doing here so late?"

She sat on the edge of his desk and took a really good look at him…he looked tired. For the last few days he had been distracted and edgy. She knew this had to do with Jen…she wondered why did relationships have to be so complicated. "I had to run a few things in Trace. What are you still doing here?"

"Just nursing this drink." He raised the glass up before taking another sip.

"I'd say your nursing more than that drink…maybe a broken heart too." When he didn't say anything Jordan pressed on. "So…when is Jen coming back?"

"Sometime next week…she said things were taking longer than expected."

She watched as he filled his glass again. Of all the relationships he had been in, this one seemed to hit him the hardest. She remembered when he first started seeing Lily and how he hurt her when he 'reconnected' with Maggie again. Then there was Renee…he ended up getting burned on that one. Ever since then he played things cautious until Jen came into the picture.

"Garret…I hate to see you like this. I'm not sure what's going on and I don't want to know, but you need to fix this."

His eyes shot in her direction, "I'm not the one who needs to fix this…besides, who said there was a relationship." There was a hint of anger in his voice.

"Look…I'm not saying this is your fault, but somebody needs to make the first move. For a time it seemed you two…well…were right for each other." She paused and looked at him. "Do you want to lose her?"

"No, but…"

Jordan slid off the desk and leaned in, kissing him on the forehead. "Give some thought about what I just said. Your what she needs." She smiled down at him and left him to his thoughts.

* * *

As soon as Nigel arrived for work the next morning, Garret cornered him. "Nigel…I need your help with something…just between the two of us."

"Sure Dr. M…what'd you need?" He took the paper that was handed him and looked back at Garret puzzled.

"I realize what I have here is minimal, but I need to you find out where she is. Can I trust you to keep this to yourself?"

"Of course…I'll start right away. It may take awhile, but I'll get you something."

"Thanks Nigel." He left Nigel to his work. Maybe now was the time to cash in some of those vacation hours.

Later that afternoon, Nigel gave him the information he needed. Garret booked the next flight out and was lucky there had been a cancellation so he could leave early the next morning. He informed Jordan what he was doing and left her in charge. Unless there was an emergency he didn't want to be contacted.

Garret arrived in Ohio late morning and by early afternoon he was standing outside the front door of her family home…a one-story brick adorned with beds of flowers and bushes. It was situated in a row with similar looking homes and the one thing he couldn't get over was just how peaceful it was…a far cry from Boston.

He hesitated before ringing the doorbell, knowing full well that she was going to be upset with him for coming…for invading her privacy. Pushing the button, he waited a few seconds before the door opened.


	6. Revelations of the Past Pt 1

_Thanks to all of you that have reviewed. This is where the rating for this story changes, partly due to the subject matter revealed. Nothing graphic, but it is a touchy subject. I hope you still enjoy it._

* * *

Jen's eyes widened in surprise when she opened the door. "Garret…wha…what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you…I came to see if there was anything I could do to help."

"How did you find me…" Moving her hand in front of her, she stopped Garret from speaking. "Wait…I'm sure I already know the answer to that."

"Jen…who's at the door?" Garret was surprised to hear a man's voice come from behind her.

An uncomfortable silence settled in as the man who had interrupted the two made his presence known. He was taller than Jen, maybe close to Nigel in height. His dark hair was long and he had it pulled back from what he could see.

"Eric…this is my boss, Garret Macy. Garret this is my brother Eric." Both men shook hands and although the introductions were made, the tension in the air still remained.

"Jen…I need to speak to you in the kitchen…now!"

Jen jumped at her brother's tone. She motioned for Garret to come in and told him to wait in the living room. While he did, he could hear low voices coming from the other room. He wasn't able to make out what was said, but the tone told him it was a heated conversation. After several minutes he heard the slamming of a door followed by complete silence. Walking out the kitchen he found Jen's brother standing alone.

"I was sorry to hear about your mother. I hope I haven't come at a bad time?" Although he was much taller, he could see they both had the same blue eyes.

"I don't believe it has ever been a good time in this family." Eric turned to look at Garret. "So, tell me…are you are you her boyfriend or something?"

Surprised by his question, Garret shook his head, "no…I'm just a friend."

"I'm surprised she has any given the way she is…now if you'll excuse me, I have some things to do."

Garret nodded and rubbed his hand over the back of his head. He now was beginning to wonder what he really was doing here. Moving over to the nearby window he saw Jen standing on the porch. He made his way out the door and stood beside her.

"Your brother was real pleasant."

Jen let out a small laugh. "Its all part of the family charm." Her face grew serious as she looked at him. "Why did you come here?"

"I was worried about you…I wanted to be sure you were alright."

"There is such a thing as a phone."

"I tried that, but somebody wasn't returning my calls."

Jen pinched the bridge of her nose…she was feeling a headache coming on. "I can't do this now…I'm not in the mood to argue with you." She looked away from him and took in a deep breath.

They stood in silence until Jen turned back around to face him. She grabbed his hand and entwined her fingers with his. "I'm mad as hell with you right now Garret Macy for coming here…but…" her voice faltered and she took another deep breath, "…but…a part of me is glad that you came." Her eyes locked with his.

Garret smiled softly…pulling her to him. He felt her arms wrap around his body…holding onto to him as if life depended on it. They stood like that for some time before going back inside.

* * *

The days passed by quickly. Garret helped Jen pack up most of her mother's things while her brother came by a few times, rarely speaking to either of them. One day Garret came upon an old photo album and got a glimpse of Jen's past. She sat down with him and went through some of the pictures…her as a scrawny girl with chipmunk cheeks. He noticed her face lit up when she looked at some of the pictures, but when they got to around the time her brother was born she quickly took the album from him saying they had to finish packing. He decided not to push her…knowing full well that everything right now was taking its toll on her. 

The day before they were to leave for Boston, the two made several trips to drop things off at the local Goodwill. Afterwards they took a walk and ended up at the City Park. They sat down on a park bench and watched ducks swimming in a nearby pond. The park was quiet and she was thankful for that.

"I wish I knew what you see in me Garret." She turned to look at him and saw the concern on his face. "Think about it…I haven't exactly given you reason to even want to be around me…ever since Christmas I've pushed you away more and more."

Garret reached over and softly carressed her cheek. "Well…for one, I see a very smart and beautiful woman." He watched as the comment made her blush. "But…I also see someone who has been hurt to the point I can't begin to comprehend."

"That's because I'm afraid to tell you…"

"I know you are and just as I told you once before…tell me when your ready."

She looked down to the ground and softly spoke, "and what if I'm never ready?"

He placed his fingers under her chin and turned her face towards him, "then we'll deal and move on…simple as that."

Jen got up quickly and walked two feet before turning around. Throwing her hands up in the air she looked at him, "but it's not that simple! You are the first man that I've cared about in a long time. I know I haven't shown it…I've kept it buried so deep…but I do care…so much that it hurts." Her eyes widened and her hand quickly flew to her mouth…shocked and somewhat embarrassed by her admission. She turned to leave, but Garret was instantly by her side, grabbing her arm.

"Jen…"

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that. We need to go." She broke free from him and started walking away.

Garret rubbed his hand over his face…she admitted to him there was something there…just when he didn't think there was. He raced to catch up with her, but she ignored him. The drive back to the house was quiet and once there she steered clear of him. Later…just as it was beginning to get dark out…he found her on the porch. Against his better judgement, he went out and took a seat next to her.

He couldn't get over how quiet it was…the sky was clear…thousands of stars began to blanket the night sky.

"When I was little…I used to come out during nights like this…just sit here and look up at the sky. I had a thing for constellations. I remember in the third grade going on a class trip to a planetarium…I became hooked with them then." A smile crept across her face and she looked at Garret. "Sorry…you really didn't come out to here to listen to me ramble on."

"No, but it helps get to know you better." He watched as her face grew serious.

"I'm sorry…about earlier at the park…with my outburst. I guess dealing with my mom's death…coming home…well, I guess it made me realize a few things…although, that's not how I wanted to tell you."

He reached over and took her hand in his. "If your mother's passing hadn't occurred and we were still in Boston…would you have told me then?"

Licking her lips nervously she looked at him…his gaze on her was intense. "I don't know…I honestly don't know. Back there I was fighting to keep you away from me." She paused before going on. "I'm still worried though that you'll reject me once you know the rest. Your getting bits and pieces now…once the whole puzzle comes together you may not have the same feelings anymore."

"Try me."

"What?"

"It seems to me that this trip is full of revelations…now is as good as time as any."

He was right and she knew it. If she didn't tell him now, she wouldn't be able to later. "Why don't we go inside and talk. I'm starting to get cold."

They went in and after fixing some coffee they took a seat on the couch. Jen remained at a close, but comfortable distance from Garret. Her heart was already pounding and she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach.

"I don't know how to start this…you don't exactly blurt something like this out." She played with a string on the blanket that still was wrapped around her body.

"Does this have to do with your brother?"

Her head instanstly shot up and she looked at him. "No…god no!"

"I didn't mean anything by it…its just the way he has acted since I came here and the other day when we looked through the photo album."

Jen smiled sadly. "He's the way he is because he resents me. I practically wrote off the family when I left. I occasionally called…that's how he knew where to track me down in Boston. I let mom know where I was at, but that was only contact I had with anyone."

Biting her lower lip, she looked away from him. Her voice became quiet now. "The reason I got upset with the album was because what happened to me started shortly after my brother was born."

"Started?" Garret was beginning to get an uneasy feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

"My uncle, my dad's brother, moved to be closer to us right before my brother was born. He had lived in Arizona for years, but decided to move back here." She turned away from him…trying to gather the courage to say it. She felt like that day in the morgue when she ran out on Jordan and Nigel.

"Jen?"

Her eyes snapped back toward Garret. "Sorry…maybe there is no easy way to say this." She took a deep breath. "From the time I was eight years old until I turned 14…I…I was molested by my uncle."


	7. Revelations of the Past Pt 2

_First...I want to thank everyone for their reviews. I know Garret isn't as popular as Woody and Jordan, but I'm glad to see that there have those of you out there interested in the story. Second...I believe the story is starting to wind down, but as of yet I'm not sure how to end it or if it can be something I can continue in a follow-up story. I have several ideas...possibly continue with more drama for the two, but still would end happily. I would like your thoughts though...email me and let me know._

_Now...I hope you enjoy this next chapter._

* * *

When Garret didn't say anything, she immediately regretted telling him. She saw the shock on his face and then what she thought might have been pity…something she didn't want to see…not from him.

"I…I shouldn't have said anything…" She looked away, but then felt his hand on hers. Slowly looking towards him…she couldn't mistake what she thought were tears in his eyes.

"I'm not sure what to say or do…should I say 'I'm sorry'…should I hold you…I…" He was immediately silenced when Jen placed a finger on his lips.

"Stop…I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Maybe I should tell you the rest and then…well…see what happens."

Closing her eyes, the images of her past flashed before her. "God…where do I even begin." Leaning back into the couch…she pulled her legs closer to her body. "Well…" she took in a deep breath. "…it was all innocent at first. All part of the trust issue. I was about seven when everything started. He…he never did anything initially. He played with me like all uncles did with their nieces and so that made him look good to my parents. He knew how to touch me just right to make me laugh, always doing it in front of my parents. Everything was just perfect." She stopped…looking away.

Garret wasn't sure if he should speak…wasn't sure if he had the right to ask anything, but went ahead anyway. "When did things change?"

Wiping away the tears, she looked at him. "Shortly after I turned eight my brother was born. Sometimes my uncle would baby-sit the two of us so that my parents could get out of the house for awhile. Those were the times he would let me stay up late…my parents never let me do that. The touching by now became more…he would rub his hand up my leg a little further. I remember one night I woke up on the couch…I must have fallen asleep, but I felt his hand under my nightgown. I just stayed still, pretending I was asleep. The next day, I still didn't understand, but he came by with gifts for my brother and myself. I kind of just forgot about what happened that night."

"Did you tell your parents? I don't mean to interrupt. I guess I'm not sure if I should say anything."

"Its ok…ask me anything you want. It pushes me to keep talking about it." She smiled sadly. "As for telling my parents…no I didn't. Things continued like that for awhile and each time there were the gifts…to buy my silence…I know that now. Of course being a young kid…you enjoy the attention from relatives. There were the occasions that I would visit him at his house…god…if I'd only understood it all then." She began to cry softly.

"Its not your fault…you were a child…an innocent child. He was the adult…someone you were supposed to be able to trust." He tried to keep his voice calm…for her sake.

"As I got older, he gradually introduced me to different things. Made me…" she cringed slightly. "…made me watch these videos with him." Closing her eyes, she worked to calm herself. "My parents never suspected a thing and I never told. I realize I should have, but he kept bribing with the gifts so in their eyes he could do no wrong. I knew they would never believe me. Of course, right after I turned thirteen he thought it was time to take things further. My parents had left one weekend…deciding to visit some family and they took my brother with them. I didn't want to go…didn't feel like it. I guess I should have…he knew I was there…alone. He came by…told me he had a belated birthday present for me. He…he forced himself on me…kept telling me that it was time to be a woman." A sob escape followed by another and she couldn't control them.

Garret pulled her into his arms, not knowing if it was the right thing to do. Slowly he ran his hand through her hair…trying to offer some comfort. Anger however was building inside him over what he had just heard. He knew things like this happened, but this was different…it was someone he cared about.

After a few minutes she pulled away. She couldn't make eye contact with him…felt too ashamed.

"When did it stop?"

Running a hand through her hair and then wiping away the tears she took a deep breath. "It was around a year later…he got caught…by my father no less." She tried to laugh, but it only came out as another sob. "There was this party at our home…for my brother's birthday. To get away from everyone I headed out to the detachable garage. I…I guess he saw me because I hadn't been in there more than five minutes when he came in. By now I was starting to become a little more unwilling, but he would turn it around against me…tell me that he liked it that way. I was trying to push him off, but he was still stronger. He was just about to…" she shook her head in disgust as images flooded her mind. "…well, my father walked in. I covered up as fast as I could. I could see the anger in my father's eyes, but I also saw the shame. He told me to go to my room and stay there. I raced out of the garage and once in my room…I just started crying and couldn't stop. I was afraid that my uncle would make me out to be the bad person."

"A few minutes later my father came into my room. The only thing he said to me was that my uncle was gone and wouldn't be coming back ever again. He…he didn't try to comfort me…there was nothing. His eyes were so cold…filled with shame." Her voice cracked and she paused before going on.

"I don't exactly know what happened to him. For months I lived in constant fear that he would come back. I don't think my mother ever found out, but my father never treated me the same. After about a year…living this lie of a 'perfect family'…I guess he couldn't take it…the thought of what had happened to me…he left. No explanation. I haven't seen him in over 20 years. I don't even know if he's alive."

"That's part of my brother is the way he is around me. He blames me for how our family was torn apart. He doesn't know what happened, but he witnessed the aftermath. Things just got worse from there. I completely shut down…I didn't care about myself. I started drinking…did drugs. The sad part was I didn't know how to be really intimate with a man. I only knew what was taught to me…so…I had this reputation…I basically turned myself into a whore." Jen hid her face in her hands…a part of her wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. She couldn't imagine what Garret thought of her now.

Jen felt Garret pull her close to him. The grim reality of everything settled in and she quickly got up, putting some distance between the two of them.

"How can you still want to look at me or for that matter even touch me?" Her voice was quiet, but filled with sadness.

He wasn't all too surprised by her question, but it still didn't make it any easier to hear. Taking in a deep breath, he looked up at her. "You may not believe this, but I care for you too…more than I ever thought I could." Garret got up and walked up to her. "Maybe this isn't the right time, but I've fallen in love with you."

The room became quiet as Jen looked at him in surprise. Swallowing hard she felt her eyes begin to mist over. "You…you love me?"

"I have for some time now, but until today…I wasn't sure how you felt." He smiled softly and caressed her cheek.

Her voice cracked with emotion, "I…its going to take me awhile before I can say those same words to you. I hope you understand."

Garret pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. "I understand." He embraced her tighter as if to offer reassurance.

"I believe what you said, but I'm afraid of losing you Garret…tell me I'm not going to."

He could hear the worry in her voice and he moved back so she could look at him. "Unless you know something I don't…I'm not planning on going anywhere…so I believe you're stuck with me." He smiled and saw her face relax.

"We're going to need to take this slow…ok?"

"We will take this as slow as you want…I don't want to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do."

Jen shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know what I did to deserve this…I must have done something right."

"I think coming to Boston was the right step." They both laughed and Garret relished in hearing her do that for a change.

Jen looked over at the clock and then sighed. "I think we need to get our things together…we have an early flight tomorrow." As they made their way to the bedrooms, Jen stopped as she entered hers and turned to look at Garret. "You know…I'm looking forward to going back to Boston tomorrow…there's hope for me there now." She smiled at him and then disappeared into the bedroom.


	8. You're Still Here?

_Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry for taking so long in getting this chapter up. I want to try and have another chapter done in the next few days...things are starting to get hectic and it may be another week before I can get anything written. Hope everyone enjoys and keep the reviews coming. I have definitely enjoyed writing this story for all of you and at least giving Garret his time to shine._

* * *

After returning to Boston, Jen immediately continued her sessions with Dr. Stiles. She was more determined than ever to put her past to rest and move on with her life. However, this meant re-opening everything she had buried over the years and the first few months turned out to be rough...not only for her, but also for Garret. All her apprehensions and fears came to the surface causing so much self-doubt that little by little she shut down.

Garret watched as Jen slowly folded back into herself. He grew frustrated because not more than a few weeks after their return she had been seemingly happy. She put as much distance between the two of them as she possibly could…frustrating him even more. In the end Garret had no other choice but to speak with Stiles…if anything to find out what he needed to do to help her.

Stiles knew what was happening…he saw it everytime Jen came for a session. And he knew of Garret's feelings for her. He advised Garret to be there for her…no matter how hard she might push him away he had to push back. Garret almost had laughed at that…the most obvious answer turned out to be the only thing he could do.

So it began…slowly at first with just the simple things…maybe walking her to her car, ordering dinner when she worked late, or trying to have small conversations with her. Her quietness told him that she didn't want him around, but he pressed on. Sometimes he stopped by her apartment…movie in hand. He could see the intrusion bothered her, but eventually she would let him in. As they watched the movie he found that she would curl up against him…never saying much during those times either…instead he would just sit there and hold her. He knew through all this that she hated it…the silence was a clear indication of that, but there were times when he looked into her eyes that he saw some sense of understanding.

* * *

Late one evening as Garret was leaving the morgue he noticed Jen's car was still in the parking garage. He debated whether he should check on her and in the end his heart won over. Taking a deep breath he headed back to the elevator. Making his way to her office, he found the light on, but she was nowhere in sight. After checking in a few other areas, he eventually found her on the roof. He stood there for a few minutes…unsure whether to disturb her…watching her as she gazed up at the sky. Thousands of stars covered the night sky and he remembered back to their last night in Ohio when she was staring up to the sky then. Finally deciding it was best not to disturb her he reached for the doorknob when she stopped him.

"Don't go Garret." She turned around…watching as he slowly made his way towards her.

"How did you know it was me?" Taking a hard look at her, he could see how tired she was.

"Other than a few members of the night staff…who else would it be?" She tried to smile, but was too exhausted to even do that. Moving past him she took a seat on the steps.

Garret took a seat next to her and they remained quiet for some time until he heard her begin to cry. Turning his head, he saw her hands covering her face as the cries became louder. Instinctively he placed his hand on her back and began to rub in a circular motion.

"Hey…what's wrong?"

"Everything…everything is wrong. I can't seem to get anything right. I came back here with such high hopes and all I have done is make a mess of things…for myself…for us." She buried her face in her hands once again.

Moving closer, Garret wrapped his arm around her. "You haven't made a mess of anything…you've just let all of your uncertainties take over. You're trying to work through quite a bit right now…give yourself time. I'm not in any rush and besides, I'm here to help…remember that."

Leaning back into him, she felt his cheek rest against the top of her head. "You could do so much better than me you know."

Her comment caught him off guard. "What makes you say that?"

Her voice quieted and she slowly closed her eyes. "I'm such a burden to you…I carry around so much baggage…maybe…" Her eyes jerked open when Garret quickly stood up and pulled her with him. She saw the anger in his eyes and quickly swallowed.

"Maybe what…maybe I should just agree with you…that what I said to you back in Ohio meant nothing!" Anger continued to build and seeing the fear on her face almost made him stop, but he pressed on. "If I didn't want a relationship with you…I wouldn't have said what I did…I wouldn't have cared enough to go to Ohio to be there with you." He took a deep breath. "I love you damnit…doesn't that mean anything?" He struck a nerve with her and she fell into his arms in tears.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" she repeated the same words over and over in between sobs and stopped when exhaustion took over.

"Look…I don't think you should be driving right now…why don't I just take you home. I can pick you up in the morning for work." He felt her nod against his chest and they walked to door.

He helped her gather her things in her office and then they made the quiet drive back to her apartment. Once there, they sat in the car…no one saying a word until she broke the silence.

"Stay…"

Garret turned to look at her, but she didn't look at him. "What?"

"I don't want to be alone…can you stay the night?" She looked at him now. "You can sleep on the couch….I…just…well would sleep better if I knew you were here."

"I'll need to go back to my place and get a few things. It will save me the trip in the morning."

Jen smiled softly and then got out of the car. She watched as Garret drove away and then slowly made her way to her apartment.

When he returned almost an hour later, he found that she had the couch ready…with sheets, a pillow, and a blanket. She had changed her clothes and was now wearing a long t-shirt and flannel pants. He was able to get a good look at her now…without the make-up…she looked pale, tired, and most importantly he could tell she had lost some weight…causing him to worry even more.

After he changed they sat and talked, and while the minutes wore on, Jen relaxed against him. After awhile he felt Jen's weight against him become heavy, realizing she had fallen asleep. He slowly got up…trying not to disturb her too much. He then carried her to the bedroom…slid her under the sheets and lightly kissed her forehead. As he turned to leave, her hand quickly took hold of his.

"Don't go…"

He looked down at her…her eyes were staring directly at him. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

"I just want you to hold me…nothing more."

Giving her a small smile he nodded, "alright." He watched as Jen moved over and then he slid in next to her. Their bodies made contact and he hoped that she was going to be ok with all of it. Wrapping his arm her, he felt her move closer to him.

"Garret…"

His eyes were closed, but he was still awake. "Hhhmmmm."

"Thank you…for staying I mean." The feeling of his arms wrapped around her made her feel safe…his outburst to her earlier on the roof made her finally realize that she couldn't doubt his feelings for her anymore.

Garret didn't say a word, but instead just kissed the back of her head. Eventually the two drifted off to sleep…for Jen it would be the first time in days she slept straight through the night.


	9. Too Much Too Soon?

_This chapter is a bit shorter than some of the others, but I wanted to get something out for everyone. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up...I have ideas, but just don't have the time right now to write them down. You may not see another update for at least a week, maybe longer...please be patient with me. Please keep reviewing and I'll try to get another update up as soon as I can._

* * *

Jen had been told that time heals all wounds and it was going to take time for all of hers to heal. With that time also came the growing relationship between her and Garret. For the first time she knew what it felt like to be loved.

The two grew closer…Jen became more comfortable with Garret touching her…allowing his hands to linger longer on her body. With those lingering touches she found her body responding more and more. At first it scared her…it brought back flashbacks to what her uncle had done to her. As much as she was coming to grips with her past, she was frustrated the way intimacy made her feel.

Stiles had told her that she was trying to do too much at once. At first she didn't believe him, but the last flashback she had scared both her and Garret.

One evening as Jen was cleaning up the dishes from dinner with Garret…he came up behind her and started kissing her neck. She almost jumped out of her skin at his touch and screamed at him to let her go. When he did, she hurried to the nearby corner…kept screaming at him to leave her alone…not to hurt her again. That was when he saw the blood all over her hand. It took him a good five minutes to calm her down before he could bandage her hand…she didn't remember the glass she had been holding, breaking it when she panicked.

After finally getting her to calm down and her hand bandaged, Garret called Stiles and asked him to come over. When Stiles arrived, he spoke to Jen for awhile, then gave her the number of a therapist who could help. After he left, Jen looked at her bandaged hand.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital?" Garret walked up to her slowly, trying not to startle her.

"No…I think it will be ok…it just throbs a little. I'll take some aspirin and that should help." She flopped down on the couch. "I can't believe this is happening now."

"What?"

"The flashbacks…I'm sorry if I scared you." She threw her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. "You're getting so much more than you bargained for out of this relationship."

Garret took a seat next to her. "You heard Stiles…sometimes they happen to people at different times. I guess us getting closer are causing them. You'll get through this and I'll be here to help." He kissed her forehead and took a deep breath…his voice quiet when he spoke, "I think though…I should probably go."

She looked at him…somewhat disappointed. "Why?"

"I…I just think its best." He got up and walked to the door.

"No!" Jen quickly stood up and made her way to him.

He turned around and saw how upset she was. "Look…its best if I just go…give you some space."

"You just said you would be here for me…now your leaving. I won't let this happen." She grabbed his hand and held it tight. "I need you now…I need you to tell me its going to be alright…to hold me safely in your arms." Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to blink them away.

Garret moved closer. "Are you sure you want me here…after what happened?"

"That was not your fault. Aren't you the one that told me I shouldn't blame myself for what happened…now look what you're doing? I want you to stay." She moved her arms around his body and held onto him. She felt his arms move to hold her.

Just as he had done many nights before…Garret stayed…this night in particular he held her close to him as they slept…his arms wrapped protectively around her.


	10. The Way You Make Me Feel

_I apologize for the long delay in getting this next chapter up. Along with everything for school I also developed a major case of writer's block so I don't believe I'm all too happy with this chapter. I'll let you all be the judge of that. There are still a few more chapters to go...I promise not to take so long with those. As always...please read and review._

* * *

After that night, the weeks just seemed to pass by quickly. Jen worked with the new therapist, Dr. Leavens…who also happened to be a survivor herself. This seemed to make things easier for her...someone on the same level as she was…someone who could understand what she was feeling. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what Garret had done for her, but in reality he couldn't fully understand it all.

Before long the spring days blended into summer. With time, she found it slowly became easier again to be intimate…when Garret held and touched her, she didn't think of what had happened or allow the flashbacks to take over. The flashbacks were now almost gone. After that night she had only had a few episodes and each time Garret comforted her.

Her hand had healed as well, just as everything else was beginning to, but it left a visible scar that danced across the palm of her hand. Jen hated looking at it…finding it to be a reminder of what happened, but Dr. Leavens pushed her to use it as a driving force. She found that confusing at first, but soon realized what the woman had meant. As much as the scar would always be a small reminder…it would also push her to continue with her therapy so she wouldn't fall back to where she was before.

And although things were progressing well, the one subject she refused to talk about was her father. No form of prodding from Dr. Leavens, Stiles, or Garret got her to speak of him.

* * *

By the end of June, Jen could see and feel the changes in herself. She was more confident and indeed happy. The closeness with Garret was now beginning to intensify…her body responding more and more. Although intimacy was becoming easier she would still push him away if she began to feel uncomfortable. Garret would tell her he understood, but she could see it in his eyes that the closeness they shared bothered him even more…being so close and yet in some ways still far away.

During the Fourth of July weekend, the gang got together on the roof of the Medical Examiner's building to watch the fireworks being set off from the park. What Jen didn't know was that they were also surprising her for her birthday…albeit a few weeks late. She never told them when it was, but found out later that Lily and Nigel had done some digging.

Garret had purposely kept her behind that night while the others got ready…claiming they needed to go over some reports on a recent autopsy. When they finally arrived on the roof, Jen was shocked to see everyone wearing party hats and shouting birthday wishes to her.

Turning to look at Garret, "the reports…you knew about this."

Smiling slightly he nodded. "Would you have allowed us to do this if you had known?"

"No…probably not."

Garret placed his hand over the small of her back. "Come on…I believe there is cake over there with your name on it."

They made their way to the table and Jen was immediately enveloped in hugs from Lily and Jordan. Nigel and Bug then ushered her to the cake that was now lit with candles.

"You know the drill love…make a wish and blow them out."

Jen closed her eyes and a small smile immediately crept across her face. Opening them again she leaned in and blew out the candles. Everyone began clapping as Bug handed her a knife. Setting it on the table she took a few steps back and looked at everyone.

"I really don't know what to say. This last year hasn't been easy for me…I got more than I bargained for when I took the job here." She watched as some of them looked towards Garret and she smiled with slight embarrassment. "More than just that…I gained new friendships…but most importantly all of you have become my family." A stray tear began to fall and she quickly wiped it away. "Ok…now how about we cut this cake!"

The rest of the night passed quickly. Music blared…there was plenty of food and drink…when the fireworks started everyone quieted to watch the display. When it was over everyone stayed bit longer before going home.

When they arrived back at her place, Jen watched Garret disappear into the bedroom and appear seconds later. In his hand he held a small gift.

As he handed it to her, she looked at him, "you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know." He moved a few steps closer to her. "Go ahead…open it."

Sliding the ribbon off and then the paper she found a dark blue velvet box. Opening it she gasped at what she saw. "Garret…its beautiful." She blinked back the tears that were starting to form. Inside the box was a necklace…a gold heart with a diamond in the center dangling from a chain.

"I'm glad you like it." He placed his fingers under her chin and brought her eyes up to meet his. "You captured my heart a long time ago…I want you to wear it close to your own."

Setting the box on the coffeetable Jen moved closer to Garret. "I promise." She brought her lips close to his and slowly kissed him. His body pressed closer into hers as she deepened the kiss. Moving her hands up she began to unbutton his shirt.

Not wanting to break the kiss, he did anyway and looked at her. "Jen…are you sure? I don't want you to do this unless your ready…" Just as he was about to say more she placed a finger over his lips.

"I'm ready…as ready as I can be. Whether we wait or not won't change what I'm feeling." She swallowed hard. "Can we go slow…its been a long time."

Garret smiled softly and nodded. Caressing her cheek he kissed her…the familiar feelings returning. Neither remembered moving into the bedroom, but at this point it didn't matter.

Jen slid Garret's shirt off and felt as his hands worked to slide off hers. As she felt his hands move behind, beginning to unclasp her bra she froze.

Garret immediately pulled back and looked at her. "I'm sorry…"

"No…no…its not you…its me." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. "Like I said…its been awhile. I'll be ok." To reassure them both she kissed him and this time when she felt his hands move behind to her bra…she accepted it.

Slowly Garret moved her to the bed and as she laid back Jen relished the feeling of his hands on her skin…skin that had never been touched in that way before. Her hands explored his body as well…something she wasn't accustomed to. The feeling of his skin against her own sent her heart racing.

The rest seemed to be a blur that only she remembered much later as Garret held her. She listened to his steady breathing and the soft beat of his heart as her head rested on his chest. Never had a man made her feel the way Garret did tonight.

Garret traced his fingers down the side of her arm as he held her. He worried that maybe this shouldn't have happened...she was quiet…too quiet. "Jen…are you ok."

His voice startled her and she slid back propping her elbow on the pillow. "I'm fine…just thinking."

"About?" His eyes locked into hers…waiting for an answer.

"I was thinking about tonight…how you made me feel. After my uncle and all those other men…it was always just sex. I've never known what it felt like to be this close to someone that you love." She watched Garret's eyes widen slightly in surprise and she smiled.

"I guess the cat's out the bag. I do…I love you…I have for some time. I've been afraid to admit it. Afraid that if I did I'll be hurt somehow, but after everything you've been through with me…"

Garret stopped her with a kiss. "I love you too."

The tears she had tried to hold back slowly fell and Garret pulled her to him. He listened as she softly cried…rubbing soothing circles on her back. After several minutes everything became quiet and he knew she had fallen asleep. Smiling to himself he lightly kissed the top of her head and let sleep finally take over.


	11. And Then There Were Three

The morning sun slowly brought Jen out of her peaceful slumber. A smile crept across her face as she remembered the events of last night…the birthday party…making love to Garret…finally admitting that she loved him. Turning over she expected to see Garret beside her, but was surprised when he wasn't.

Sitting up quickly, she wrapped the sheet around her…her mind raced as to why he wasn't there. Looking towards the bathroom she noticed the light was out. Just as she was about to get out of bed Garret came walking in carrying a tray. The relief washed over her and she immediately smiled, but not fast enough.

Garret stopped at the edge of the bed and looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…nothing's wrong…what have you got there?"

Setting the tray in front of her he sat down. "Thought I would surprise you with breakfast."

"Great…I'm starved." As she went to pick up the fork Garret placed his hand over hers. She stared at the plate of eggs…not wanting to look at him.

"When I walked in here you looked worried…want to tell me why?"

"Its silly really…I…I woke up…you weren't here." She felt too embarrassed to even go on. Turning her head completely away she began to blink back the tears. "Like I said…it was silly."

Garret could hear the emotion in her voice and sighed heavily. He knew deep down that it was still going to take some time for her to completely trust. "Why don't you look at me."

His voice was soft, yet commanding. She turned to face him and more than anything she saw the love in his eyes. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I…"

He stopped her before she could continue. "Don't apologize…ok?" He watched her nod in understanding. "Now…I want you to enjoy this breakfast and afterwards we're going to take a walk. It's a nice day out and although I would much rather spend it in here with you…" Slowly Garret moved in and softly kissed her neck. "I think we should take advantage and enjoy the day." He kissed his way down her neck and across her shoulder. "Now, I'm going to take care of a few things while you eat."

Jen watched as he left the room. She felt foolish for her actions earlier. Shaking her head she quickly grabbed the fork and began to eat.

The following day when they arrived to work everyone noticed something different about them. It didn't surprise her when Jordan cornered her in her office. She more than pointed out how "sickenly" cheerful she was for a Monday morning. Jen knew everyone liked to talk…especially when it concerned Garret and his love life. In the beginning he had warned her that she would probably be teased and she was…Nigel and Jordan loved to stick it to her about dating the boss, even Bug and Lily on occasion, but she didn't mind. Jordan was her strongest supporter and as she left Jen's office that morning she mentioned how happy she was for the two of them.

It now seemed that everything in her life was complete. Her meetings with Drs. Leavens and Stiles slowly became non-existent and her relationship with Garret couldn't have been any better.

* * *

After the Fourth of July holiday things became crazy with more dead bodies than the morgue could handle at times. Everyone was working late hours so when she was a little more tired than usual she didn't give it a second thought. When she became sick she just chalked it up to not taking care of herself as well as she should. As the weeks wore on she would have her good days, but then a bad day would soon follow.

She tried to hide how she was feeling from Garret, but it didn't seem to work. When you see someone everyday they are bound to notice. One afternoon he told her to go home…get some rest. Things had been quiet that day so she didn't protest. He had walked her to her car and let her know he would be by after work.

Back at her apartment she stared at the contents of the brown bag she had dumped on the counter. She had made a quick stop after leaving the morgue hoping the suspicions in her head weren't true. The suspicions had been there for days and no matter how hard she tried they wouldn't go away.

Ten minutes later she stood in the bathroom with two white sticks in her hand. Swallowing hard she finally looked at them…a sob escaped and she felt her legs give out as she fell to the floor. Her suspicions…the results…they didn't lie…she was pregnant.


	12. What Next?

_Here is another chapter for all of you...thanks for the reviews. You have been great and I've enjoyed writing this story for you. As always...keep them coming._

* * *

A week went by and Jen kept the fact that she was pregnant to herself. She managed to keep herself in high spirits when she was around everyone, including Garret, but when alone all she could think about was what to do. Children were something she had never thought about having…believing she couldn't be a good enough mother. She knew this was something that she couldn't hide, especially as the months wore on.

She had been feeling a little better, which she was definitely relieved about. Trying to hide the fact that she couldn't keep any food down, not even at work, was hard to do without raising questions. Somehow no one noticed and she carried on as if everything was fine.

Garret, however, saw differently. He couldn't put his finger on it, but although she seemed fine, she wasn't. He saw she was still tired and usually ate very little food…she could look happy one minute and then sad the next. When Friday came, she left work before him…he was wrapped up working on a case with Jordan and they never got a chance to make plans for the evening.

Hours later Garret found her asleep on the couch when he arrived at her apartment. Using the key she had given him months ago, he let himself in and quietly shut the door when he saw her. He moved closer and could see the dark circles under her eyes…make-up clearly not hiding them now. He wasn't sure what to think at this point…what was wrong with her…he worried there was something more.

Sighing he headed to the kitchen and opened the bag he brought with him. After leaving work he stopped and picked up some soup for the two of them. He just wanted to spend a quiet evening with her in hopes that she would talk to him. Startled by a noise behind him he turned to see Jen leaning against the wall…the blanket that covered her on the couch was wrapped around her.

He set the bowl down and walked over to her. "I hope I didn't wake you…I'm not sure if you have eaten, but I brought us some dinner."

"Smells good…" She didn't say anymore as she leaned into him.

Wrapping his arms around her they stood in silence for some time before he spoke.

"So…are you hungry?" He felt her nod against him and then walked with her over to the counter.

Her mind wandered throughout dinner…she was afraid to tell Garret that she was pregnant, afraid that he would think this happened on purpose. She tried to dispel the thought…Garret wasn't that kind of man. More than anything …she was worried that she couldn't be a capable parent.

"Jen…Jen?"

Her mind came back to the present and she looked towards Garret who had a worried expression on his face.

"I'm sorry…did you say something?"

"You seemed a million miles away. Look…I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm beginning to get worried. Your emotions have been all over the place lately. Did I do something wrong?"

Jen's eyes shot in his direction. "No…of course not…what gives you that idea?" She picked up her bowl and quickly headed back to the kitchen. She heard Garret get up as well and he wasn't far behind.

Placing his bowl on the counter he took hold of her arm and turned her to look at him. "I know we have been putting in a lot of hours at the morgue lately and its getting to everyone, but there is something wrong here…with _us_. You act as if everything is fine, but there is more going on."

Jen pulled away and moved a few steps back. "There isn't anything wrong with us. Just as you said, we've been putting in long hours. Its affecting me more than anyone else…that's all." She didn't want to have this conversation now.

Garret wasn't buying it. "Maybe that's part of it, but there's more…"

"Garret…you…"

"Do want out of this…is that it?"

"What?" She was shocked…she couldn't believe what he said.

"You heard me." His voice was filled with a hint of anger. "I obviously don't know what else to think…." He saw her about to speak and quickly continued. "…and don't use the long work hours or how you have been feeling as excuses…you've…"

"Garret…please…we can't do this now." Her voice cracked with emotion.

"Do what…talk? I thought after everything we've been through…" He walked closer to her. "Tell me what's wrong…is it me? Did I do something…say something?"

"I told you that you didn't do anything wrong?" She didn't want to discuss this anymore…all she wanted to do was hide away somewhere and be left alone. Turning around she walked out to the living room.

Frustrated Garret ran his hand over the back of his head and then followed her. He sat down next to her on the couch and silence settled in.

Jen's mind raced. She knew he had every right to know that she was pregnant…keeping it from him was making things worse.

Looking down to the floor she finally spoke. "Garret…you must believe me when I tell you that you did nothing wrong. I've been trying to work through something…I've just needed time to think about what do."

"Come to any conclusions."

Jen shook her head, still keeping her gaze to the floor, "no…no I haven't."

"Maybe if you tell me what that _something_ is, then maybe I can help."

Getting up, she put some distance between them. She couldn't hide this anymore. Biting down on her lower lip she turned to look at him. "I'm…I'm pregnant."

She waited…for the anger…for the screaming, but all he did was get up, pull her into his arms and hold her. She was confused…this wasn't what she thought would happen. She broke the embrace and pulled back.

"Didn't you hear me…I'm pregnant."

"I heard you." He brought his hand up to her cheek, slowly caressing it. He saw the tears begin to form in her eyes.

"I don't understand…you're not mad…upset?"

Now it was his turn to be confused. "Maybe shocked…this wasn't planned, but why would I be either of those things? You're having a baby…our baby."

"I was worried that you would think I did this on purpose…trapping you in this relationship…I know we were careful, but not that first time…" She was stopped when Garret pulled her close and brought his lips down on hers. His kiss deepened and she wrapped her arms around him.

When they pulled apart, his eyes met hers…he brushed a strand of her hair back. "I love you and nothing changes that…and I mean _nothing_." He watched as the tears she had been trying to control fell freely now. Slowly he wiped them away. "Its getting late…you need your rest. We'll talk about this tomorrow…ok?"

Jen smiled slightly and nodded, "You'll be here in the morning?"

"There's no other place I would rather be." Garret wrapped his arms around her and walked with her to the bedroom.

As she slept, he held her close to him…listening to her even breathing. Her reaction had surprised him to say the least…the idea that she thought he would be mad didn't make sense. However, one thing still puzzled him…he remembered her saying that she 'needed time to think about what to do.' The sentence repeated itself over and over in his head and it began to concern him. Pulling her closer he slowly closed his eyes and tried to sleep, with his dreams filled with the possibilities of the future..


	13. Late Night Revelation

_So...after you finish reading this chapter...should I continue or leave it where it stands. I leave that decision entirely up to you...I'm here to please. :)_

* * *

Garret woke up in the middle of the night to find Jen not lying in bed beside him. Getting up he walked out into the living room and saw her standing by the window.

"Jen?"

His voice startled her from her thoughts and she jumped slightly. "Garret…what are you doing up?"

"I'd ask you the same thing. How long have you been out here?"

Shrugging her shoulders she looked at him, "I don't know…an hour or so." Leaning back against the frame of the window she drew in a deep breath. "Are you happy about this pregnancy Garret?"

He took a moment, searching for the right words. "I know this wasn't planned and I can see you have your doubts, but…" Garret grabbed her chin just as she began to look away, wanting to keep her gaze with him. "_but_, I love you and having a baby with you doesn't begin to say how happy I am."

"And what about you…are you happy about this pregnancy?"

"Would you be angry if I said I wasn't sure?"

Garret breathed heavily and looked at her. "No…" He saw her eyes fill with sadness…an all too familiar look.

"More than anything I'm scared…I'm worried about not being a good enough mother. Look what happened to me…what happened for years right under my parent's watchful eye." She moved past him and he turned around to see her disappear into the bedroom.

He found her sitting at the head of the bed, clutching a pillow to her. Sliding in beside her, he softly kissed her shoulder and then wrapped his arm around her.

"There's more to this isn't there?" When she didn't say anything he pressed on. "Last night…you seemed to think I was going to be mad at you for getting pregnant…why?"

Sighing heavily she closed her eyes, "because…I've been pregnant before." Opening her eyes slowly, she turned to look at him. Thinking she would see disappointment…she only saw love.

Garret pulled her closer to him. "Talk to me."

"It happened after I moved to California. I moved there when I was old enough…had enough money to leave home. I thought a new environment would get me back on track…allow me to forget, but I was doing enough damage to my life that I just kept following that same destructive path." Jen loosened her grip on the pillow she held and laid it out in front of her…rubbing her hands along the top.

"Everything was still the same as before, only in a larger scale. With the men…it was no-strings attached sex. That's all they ever wanted and that's all I cared for."

She paused to take a deep breath and collect her thoughts. "I worked in this diner to make ends meet. One day this guy came in…well dressed. We flirted and later we ended up in a hotel room together. Afterwards I found out he was a well established attorney and also married…but he said his marriage had been on the rocks for years."

"He wanted to see me again and we did…many times after that. He was just like the others though…just wanted sex. About three months later I found out I was pregnant and when I told him he went ballistic on me. Yelling…calling me hurtful names…he even went so far as to tell me that it wasn't his, that he had a vasectomy years ago."

Softly she began to cry and Garret tightened his arms around her. "And that's why you thought I would have the same reaction?"

Jen nodded against him. "Garret…I knew he was lying…I hadn't been with anyone else, but he didn't believe me. He even went so far as to hit me. I had a bruise on the side of my face for the better part of a week." Her hand instinctively went up to the spot on her cheek…the memory still fresh in her mind.

"Why would you assume I would have the same reaction…I've never given you any indication…"

Shaking her head she wiped the rest of the tears away. "I know…he didn't either, but you see I only had that instance to compare it to. When I found out that I was pregnant…all of those memories came flooding back."

"You never said…what happened to the baby."

Dropping her head, she looked down at her hands. "A week later I had a miscarriage."

Garret rested his cheek against the side of her head. "I'm so sorry."

"I know…I'm ok…like I said…this just triggered all those memories again." Pulling away, she moved so she could look at him. "My first thought after finding out I was pregnant was that I knew I couldn't have this baby." She saw the hurt in his eyes and took his hand into hers. "I have to be honest with you…in the back of my mind I'd even considered getting an abortion." Now the hurt she saw was replaced by shock and she wondered if she'd said too much.

He sat looking at her…not even sure what to say. Finally he found his voice, but the words he spoke were soft and quiet. "So…now what?"

Jen moved in closer and smiled softly. "Now…I want this baby. I think I have all along…as usual I let my fears take over. It's going to be hard, but I know that I have you. I've always had you."

"You won't just have me you know…you'll have Jordan, Lily, Bug, Nigel…" Pulling her back to him, he brushed his lips over hers.

Jen pushed him back against the bed as the kiss intensified and a soft moan escaped her lips. Reluctantly she pulled away and looked at him. "So…will you still love me when I look like a beached whale…can't bend over to pick up anything…hormones all over the place…"

Garret didn't let her finish…he pulled her back down and kissed her again. A laugh escaped her lips as his hands began to roam her body.

"I'll take that as a yes then." And she knew…she knew as she felt Garret's lips move down her neck that everything in the end would be all right.


	14. Epilogue

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I decided to add a final chapter, bring it all together. Hope you enjoy and thanks again for all the feedback:)_

_

* * *

__Seven months later…_

Garret sat quietly at the side of the hospital bed and held Jen's hand in his. He watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept. She had been asleep for several hours and would probably be like this for awhile.

He had sent the rest of the group home hours before…Nigel, Jordan, Bug, and Lily…promising to call when she woke up.

Hours earlier she had given birth to a baby boy…their son. It had been a long labor and at the end she was almost too tired to continue. He wasn't sure if Jen even knew the baby was a boy…as soon as he had made his entrance into the world her blood pressure dropped and she had started bleeding internally.

Now she quietly slept…she would be all right…weak for awhile, but all right. The doctor had told him she would still be able to have children, but that didn't matter to Garret…he was just thankful she was all right.

His thoughts went back through the last few months. They had kept the pregnancy between them for at least another month…Jen had wanted it that way. When they finally told the others…they were ecstatic and that made it easier for her. As the months progressed, she began to show more and relished in her pregnancy.

They started looking for a house, wanting to raise their child in a quiet neighborhood and not a cramped apartment. Two months before the baby's due date, Garret proposed to her. Through her tears she happily accepted. He had wanted to get married before the baby was born, but she persuaded him they should wait until afterwards…telling him it had been silly childhood fantasy to wear a white dress, have the bridesmaids, the church.

Garret promised her she would have that and so much more.

He was brought back to the present when he felt a small squeeze of his hand. Looking down he saw Jen's hand move again.

"Garret." Her voice was low.

"I'm here Jen." He watched as she tried to focus her eyes on him.

"Garret…" She licked her lips. "What happened?"

Bringing his free hand up, he brushed it against the side of her face. "You went into labor remember…there…there were some complications…"

"The baby…where is my baby?" Jen tried to get up, but was stopped by Garret and a wave of dizziness. Bringing her hand to her head she slowly laid back down.

"Easy…the baby is just fine…he's anxious to see his mother though." His eyes met hers and slowly he smiled.

"He…we have a son." She was trying to keep her eyes open, but the medication was making her groggy.

Garret brushed her hair back, "yes…we have a son…he's healthy…ten fingers, ten toes…he's perfect." He watched her having trouble keeping her eyes open. Leaning down, he softly kissed her forehead. "You need your rest and your strength…I have a feeling he's going to be a handful."

As her eyes grew heavier, she managed a smile, "just like his father."

Garret let out a small laugh and felt her hand slowly go limp in his. Leaning in he whispered in her ear, "I love you" and then softly kissed her forehead.


End file.
